I know You ordered every step
You are the Author
And there's no predicting what is next
But You hold the future
And all the questions they come second
To the one I know is true.
Oh, you've always been true
So I'm gonna wait on You
The lyrics to this song by Elevation Worship has always resonated during this long and extensive waiting period of not seeing T.
Through many setbacks, disappointments, rescheduled flights, and canceled trips, it was by faith that allowed us to keep moving forward.
In fact, it was what truly held us together when many others would fall apart within the same circumstances. However, what remained certain was our trust in the One who still holds everything together.
Being in a long distance relationship is not always easy, but when you are with the right person, it is more than worth it. And I can absolutely tell you, no relationship is perfect, by far there can be many conflicts or disagreements involved, but when you truly work towards learning about each other for the better and allow God to help mold your character towards others, it’s a real blessing rather than a curse.
I would’ve never thought I’d find myself in a relationship with someone that lives far from me, much less in a different continent; yet here I am, happily in love with a man that I know God has called to be a part of my life.
It all started with a minor conversation that led into a developing friendship with someone that didn’t even live in my city at the time.
While I was still living in Miami, he was in Charlotte, but my intention of moving to Charlotte was never based off of following someone—it was more about accomplishing what God has set out for me in this city.
Yet to my surprise, God had also intended T to be in my life for another reason.
Since the beginning of our story, it had seemed as if Tobias didn’t mind our long distance friendship, which began to develop into something deeper as time went on.
And after several months of being close friends, we were faced with the question of “what next?”.
Tobias had to move back to Germany, and I was still in the transition of moving out of my hometown.
What would this mean for us?
There were many more questions asked, but we both trusted that God would reveal more in detail about what exactly would happen.
Through many talks, a couple of visits to each other here being in the U.S, and lots of contact, it was clear that something deeper was developing.
Before our final “goodbye” as best friends back in June 2020. We didn’t know we would see each other until the June of 2021.
I don’t know why, but even the (then) last time I saw T in person, I was left with a “see you soon” rather than a true goodbye.
When T finally moved away, I was uncertain of how we’d turn out, but there was always something that kept us both wanting to stay present in each other’s lives.
To say the least, I couldn’t imagine my days without the impact T would leave, and the same applied on his end with me.
The pandemic obviously hit hard with many obstacles, such as long restrictions and extensive closed borders. To me, I wasn’t sure what intention God had in mind when it came to bringing T and I together because of the time differences and miles between us.
But I think it has also allowed us to come to the shared mindset that “God knows best”, and of course He has proven that He still certainly does.
Only God knew that it would take one full year for us to see each other in person after the summer of 2020. Yet in that waiting period of a full year, our promise of “soon” would come—we just didn’t know how or what that would look like.
There were several days where we received the same news of the borders to the U.S still being closed, which led to many disappointments, and of course, many tears shed. In those moments, it all looked impossible for the possibility of seeing each other once again, when in reality, that was not the truth.
My prayer journal is filled with shaky handwriting as the disappointments kept becoming consistent. Yet, the Lord answered every prayer I have ever written.
It’s not easy seeing uncertainties remaining consistent by days, weeks, and even months.
But this is where the true test of faith came in: Would we continue to believe in a miracle working God when all things looked hopeless, or would we give up all we had built together?
Still, we prayed for the next time we’d see each other—even in moments when it was harder to pray.
I cannot lie and say that my faith was always on a high when there was no progress on the U.S. borders opening again, preventing Tobias from coming back. But the more I shared my story with close friends, Bible group, and even members of my current church, there was a special impact that drew others to pray for Tobias and I and kept us in their thoughts. Those that have prayed for us understood how worrisome it could be for others to be stuck in this certain type of situation, but it was their faith in our relationship that grew a desire in our hearts to let our story become more known little by little.
Perhaps to some people, a long distance relationship, especially overseas, may seem illogical or worthless, but I can say God has a purpose to as to why T and I are together—even through a pandemic.
Going back to the song lyrics stated above, when it says,
“And there's no predicting what is next
But You hold the future
And all the questions they come second
To the one I know is true”,
I can only say waiting on the Lord certainly brings the rawest of our wants into His hands without the knowledge of how it might unfold.
To me, one of the greatest disappointments I have ever experienced was the trip T had to cancel to Charlotte and Miami back in August.
In our minds, we thought it was the perfect time for what we had initially planned.
I would have loved to have Tobias join me during my graduation ceremony with my family. It would be in celebration of a lifelong dream I had ever since I was little. And to fly back home on the plane by myself left me a bit disconnected as to what I thought God might’ve done for us in reference to a miracle.
It tore me when I received the news that T was rejected at the airport and was sent back home with packed luggages.
All of the expectations and hopes we built up were gone in a single moment.
Yet, those were the very moments that helped us truly leave everything under God’s control and let Him work.
No more questions, just faith.
On September 20th, we received great news that the U.S would finally open its borders again after over a year. T and I bursted with joy that we’d soon be reunited. And so, November was on our mind, and that’s what we had suspected God wanted to occur.
November came, and so did Tobias.
Not only that, but he’d come on the day of our anniversary—a day I’d never forget.
Words cannot describe how joyful my heart was to see him again and especially to have him back in the city that brought us together.
