I can remember the sensation that heavily poured onto my heart when I was being redirected somewhere else. Praying to God, I questioned, “Do I really have to give up my dream school for another school that really wasn’t on my mind?”
And to firmly face the decision of turning down the acceptance of my dream school (on my birthday, no less) left me a bit discouraged. That was what I initially wanted to strive for during the start of my graduate school path.
But God had other plans.
In less than a month, my initial desire of becoming a school administrator morphed into a passion of changing curriculum behind closed doors. Something I never even knew was a real thing. And in a very still and loving gesture, I was redirected to enroll back into my alma mater, FIU, and become a graduate student there.
While I’m still currently in my studies to become a curriculum specialist, I can really see why this was the road I needed to take to fulfill my overall purpose within the school system. All the tears I had once shed over my dream school being the correct fit in prayer suddenly made sense. It allowed my heart to once again open up to what God really wanted for me. And as always, He knew and still knows best.
The act of surrendering control over what I thought was right allowed a catalyst to be instilled in my heart. An integral lesson that, in this life, we are not meant to walk through our own independence of doing everything we want, whenever we want, just to feel a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment. In fact, life is meant to be lived knowing our decisions can truly change the outcome of situations, good and bad, but if we let go of control, life may flow easier. And perhaps, even better.
Another thing I would’ve never expected to occur this year was a change in my relationship status. To be honest, I didn’t see it coming because I wasn’t looking for anything in particular during a year of such tumultuous change. And yes, to all you skeptics wondering if I’m in a relationship already, I am currently in probably the healthiest relationship I will ever be in.
And even in the initial stages of knowing this person deeper, I was confronted with the notion of “Is this fitting well within my timeline?”
To my surprise, it was as if God intentionally placed him in my life to help me break out of this mindset.
Truthfully, words cannot describe how thankful I am for meeting the person I am currently with and how our story unraveled. And I will tell you, I am extremely happy!
(That story will be written sometime far into the future.)
But overall, if you really know the intricate details of it, you can really see how beautifully orchestrated it is turning out to be. A year ago, I was in the same seat asking God, “Is this something you really want in my life?”
And the more I got to know this person, the more I prayed bold prayers. Bold prayers that asked to rid anyone that wouldn’t be meant to stay in my life. I willingly gave up the idea that something could occur with this person and I, unaware we would grow into something more intentional.
Again, God had other plans and as He answered my prayer of allowing this person to stay in my life, I felt it was time to let go of everything I felt I had control over and turn it over to Him. He then took that gesture and allowed our relationship to flourish and flow the way it was meant to be. To say the least, I believe this is what it really means to not settle for less or even give in to the false idea of what “love” should generally be like.
I’ll be honest with you in this, if I never gave up my past hurts or generally the notion that there IS something better out there, I probably would’ve continued to keep my guard up and move along with life only focused on what’s in front of me. But to once again allow my heart to love again, and even deeper, can only create a more meaningful and beautiful union of two people who are running in the same marathon together as a team. This is something God knew I needed (though I thought I would encounter this later on) during a time of transition to help prepare me for what comes next.
It can only bring me straight to this Bible verse found in Isaiah.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
Throughout this journey of seeing more events in my life unfold before me, what was left of a dormant dream of mine quickly catapulted into a pursuit of making things more intentional before that dream ever came to life. Little by little, and day by day, it was as if everything finally fell into place before this great adventure ahead of me could begin.
Now, this is still something I cannot publicly announce until it is official, but in my heart I can really feel and know the importance of truly cherishing and being in the moment with the people you dearly love before things change once again. Intentionality is more what I am pertaining to.
But what does this have to do about the timeline mentioned before?
Nothing, but simply letting go of this “timeline” can really change so much throughout your life. In reality, it shouldn’t be pursued after if it means losing yourself trying to fulfill your own desires and, perhaps, in the wrong timing.
If only you knew the reality of what it means to live life as it is and to take things slow. As we all know, tomorrow is never promised and so anything can change in a split second.
Timelines don’t matter. Things naturally fall into place when it is supposed to happen.
