Where to?

For the past week, I’ve been looking further into my grad school options—narrowing down the schools I would like to attend. Grad school has been on my mind since I graduated with my bachelor’s degree last year. Because of the program I want to get into, I’ve been wanting to go to the university that offers the best service for my career. So far, Florida State University is my top choice.

If you got to know me a little bit more, you’d know FSU has always been my dream school. When I was in high school, without a doubt, I was determined to be admitted into Florida State and study there for my undergrad. Unfortunately, life at the moment took a turn that made me NOT go for various reasons, including the feeling that it wasn’t the right school for me at the time.

Flyers I first received from Florida State when I began applying to colleges back in 2014.

When I found out I wasn’t allowed to go, it broke me. It honestly felt as if I was slapped in the face real hard when I was told no.

One of the reasons as to why I wasn’t allowed to go there was because I wanted to leave my home with the wrong intentions. Due to the problems happening back then, I felt as if leaving my home would be an ultimate escape from my misery. I also wasn’t sure how I would turn out to be due to the instability I was facing. Perhaps if I did leave my home to go to FSU, I’d end up giving up on my dreams. I probably wouldn’t have continued pursuing education as my career, or probably wouldn’t have been given the many opportunities I received at FIU, and outside of all that, I would’ve stayed completely disobedient and rebellious towards my parents.

Those are the things I often think about; how my life would’ve been if I attended Florida State.

Now I’m not saying FSU would change me in a bad way. I just don’t think I’d be the same person I am today if that was the place I was meant to go to. In the end, I attended FIU instead and things turned out better than I expected. A whole lot better.

My experience at FIU was so great that I am grateful my original plan didn’t work because I see myself as a completely different person than who I was 5 years ago.

As I was thinking of what to write for my next post here, I came across a bible verse that I never took notice of.

Romans 11:22 states, “Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in his kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off.”

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To sum up what has been happening in that passage prior to that verse, it talks about how God’s people, Israel, was undeserving of God’s mercy and favor because of their disobedience, yet he still gave it to them because of his kind nature.

To be honest, this verse convicted me to take more notice of His mercy and keep trying to move along the path despite how “busy” my life currently is. In the past I have been disobedient and rebellious, and just reading that verse brought back those memories of the time when all I wanted to do was leave. But notice how great God is when he says something that makes you realize being obedient will lead to a clearer path in life.

Since I am now in the process of figuring out where I should go next in my life, I still have the desire to go to FSU but not in the way it was back then. This time, I know it’s for me to become a better person in my career and in my community.

I actually told my parents recently about my desire of going to FSU and in return I got a “Leave it in God’s hands and if it’s His will, He will let you go.” Before, the response I had received about attending the school was different, but now I see it as a maybe. It might end up leading me exactly where I want to be, and all in good terms this time.

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Maybe I won’t go to Florida State after all because God has something else better in store, but as of now it is still a huge desire of mine to go.

Now going back to the verse, it states how

God is severe towards the disobedient, but will remain kind if you continue to trust in his kindness. As a Father, His job is to lead us to the right path no matter if we have to be disciplined to realize what’s right, and to trust that everything He does is for our own good. Once the trust is gone, meaning we stray away and do things on OUR terms, He too will show how He can set his foot down which is what we shouldn’t have Him do very often. Sometimes, it’s necessary.

I don’t consider myself to be stubborn, but after seeing the favor of God constantly being brought in my life, I am more sure that He is in full control despite my decisions that aren’t aligned to His.

In reality, I am writing this so I can read it again one day and see where God led me to. From application preparation, to taking every opportunity given for more credentials, to growing more in love with my profession, I know all this will have its reward in the end.

Applying to grad school is hard. There’s so much to work on just on an application, but through God anything is possible. I fully believe that He will come through in any way possible that will make me exalt His name. For now, FSU is on my mind. It has always been, but who knows what will happen in the near future.

From glory to glory, I go and even if I go to FSU for grad school or not, I will remain content with where I am. With my faith solely in God and His plans, I know He’ll lead me to even greater adventures.

Bliss & Adventure.