For Such a Time As This

Chosen.

I would’ve never thought that word would pertain to me in such a time as this.

But why me?
You know, sometimes I wonder, out of everyone in this world, in this specific place and time, why was I sought after and picked for something like this? Although I am clearly aware of my ever-growing potential and what I am capable of doing, sometimes I question if I really am worthy of the things that are given to me. But then I am reminded of this verse:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalms 139:13-14

I know full well that I have been created for a specific purpose. To many of you, you may see my highlights, and all that is well with my life, but there are many times when I feel like I am constantly being struck down by circumstances. Things that I clearly do not share but can only speak to with those close to me. If you were to count the every tear I've shed and every time I’ve looked up to the sky hoping to see any sign of comfort, it would be too many to count.

But in moments like that, I have heard the still, small voice of God telling me to "focus on my worship". He reminds me that worship is the best way I can fight these battles in order to move on according to my purpose. For me, the most tangible way of feeling God close by and receiving reassurance that all will be okay is through worshiping. Now when I mention worship, it's not just playing a song and singing along to the lyrics as if it were any other song. It means doing everything wholeheartedly as an offering to God--an offering, willing gift, to the One who created everything.

The moment I received news that I would be Rookie Teacher of the Year at my school, I was more than surprised.

I don't like to do things to be seen. By far, I'd rather be in the background in all that I do, but in this moment, I felt God nudging me as if some things are meant to be acknowledged simply because He cares.

Since the age of 4, when I decided being a teacher was all I have ever wanted to be, I have always made it a goal of mine to be the very best teacher I can be to all of my students, no matter what. If you knew all of the individual stories these students carry, you'd see why I would want to give my all when it comes to my career.

Coming from a somewhat emotionally drained past, I have always wanted to be that light for others as well. Whether it be to my colleagues, friends, and even to strangers, I only want the very characteristics God has molded inside of me to be brought out to the benefit of others.

In other words, I receive much joy when others are joyful as well.

Now you may ask, what does worship have to do with this? Well, the reason why I'm bringing it up is because I believe if it wasn't for the decision of me going back to the heart of Christ and giving Him my everything, none of this would've happened.

It took me a while to realize I cannot do everything by my own strength, and the more I was being hit with situations that could've brought me back to my dismay, I had to give up this self-autonomy and surrender once and for all and just let God be. I wasn't forced to make that decision, it was by my own doing, and it has been the best choice I have made in a very long time.

Has there been moments when things still go wrong? Of course, but I'm seeing it in a different light that has helped me realize that God does everything for good, even if it may not look like it. The Bible even says so:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Romans 8:28

After a while of intentionally spending my time of trying to do my best and giving my whole heart for God, I have found pure joy in the searching of His heart--so much that new desires have sprung up that I am excited to see come to life. I know for a fact that if these new desires are strong, it is only because God first desired it for me. Which is why He has placed them in my heart.

Psalms 37:4 states,
”Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

And this goes for you as well.

Yes, you that's reading this. Whatever dream or dreams you may have, you have them within you only because He first saw it. But look how gracious He has been in wanting you to have that desire. It's simply because He loves you! And the only way to see those dreams manifest is to let God do the work and all you have to do is just stand back and obey His commands while He does the rest.

Through this season of intentional solitude with God and yearning to hear more of His voice, I can tell what my next steps are in this particular time of my life.

I can remember one Wednesday night while I was walking my dog, I asked God, "What's next in my life?". I am fully aware of my time dwelling in Miami being almost up at this point, and right then and there was when He told me, "The time is near of you leaving, but you first need to fulfill your purpose in Miami."

Hearing that only made me realize there's still a lot more that needs to be done with my time left here.

It wasn't until I was reminded of another verse that only confirmed of what I have been told.

Found in the book of Esther 4:14, it states,
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"

I knew that this season I am currently in is for preparation of something big coming. It's funny because about 6 years ago I was dressed up as Queen Esther for a Bible Character Day that my youth group had coordinated. I never really realized that one day I'd grow up to be the Esther of my time...in this particular season. There have been many instances when all I can ever hear from God was the word "preparation" over and over again. I never really understood why that word was being reiterated, but now I fully understand that it goes along with my purpose.

This being said, I still may not know as to why certain things happen in my life or as to why I am being chosen for other things other than just the title of Rookie Teacher of the Year.
In reality, this blog post isn't just about that.
I believe God has intentionally handpicked every detail to occur in my life for what will eventually come to be.

There are many other things that I have kept to myself in regards of being chosen. Events such as being a voice to help a certain program, seeing my name being mentioned in places I have never really thought would mean as much, and many more. But besides that, I also have a message for you. As I am typing this, I can deeply feel in my heart that you too have been chosen for great things ahead. There may have been times in which you feel like no one sees what you do and that no one cares, but I am here to tell you that there's one person who sees EVERYTHING and is still loving you despite all your quirks and flaws.

And that's God.

You have no idea how much happiness just doing what you do with a smile and with a good heart brings Him. He WILL ultimately reward you in due time. Just remember that in everything, you reap what you sow. This pertains to every little seed you have been sowing in your ground, it will spring up. It will flourish. It will bloom.

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
1 Peter 2:9

In everything, acknowledge Him and He will bring you upfront because you have been chosen.

And for such a time as this, He will also be known.